Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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