She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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