dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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