addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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