Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
