You're completely useless in the revolution.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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