I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
