standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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