Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
