His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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