So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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