I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
