i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
