it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
