I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize