I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
