so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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