I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
