I just cut my nipple shaving
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
do herpes really smell.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
