How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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