smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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