You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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