he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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