and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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