The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
