2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I deserve this hangover.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
