she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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