The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
