i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
