he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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