what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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