And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
