can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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