1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
