he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
