I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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