So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
