Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
