You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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