I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
