And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
