Well apparently he's into motor boating.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
