3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
