this boner is exhausting
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize