So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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