Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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