i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize