Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
