I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
