Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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