His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize