areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
