Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
