His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
