I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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