dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
