well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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