if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
