And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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