I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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