Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sober January is a disaster.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
