He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
