do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
