you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
