Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
